Love by the water cooler – Melissa Ferrari

Love at work can be complicated

Given we spend more time at work than with close friends and family, it is not surprising that nearly 1 in 5 couples find love with their work colleagues. Yet dating someone at work comes with its own unique complications, with concerns around perceived favouritism in the workplace, issues with HR and what happens if things do not work out!

Psychotherapist and relationship therapist Melissa Ferrari believes that given the time we spend at work, falling in love with a work colleague will be inevitable for some and by behaving professionally and keeping in mind the sensitivities, a road that can lead to finding the love of your life.

For a newsline we can include the recent break up of Lachie and Emma from the Wiggles as an example of where love was found and lost, yet the professional relationship needed to continue.

Listen to the podcast here.

When you are in a relationship:

• Always put your relationship first and the work or business second
• Make sure you behave with each other in a way that says this relationship will be here tomorrow no matter what.

• Manage everybody else together
• Don’t make decisions with an employee without consulting your partner, particularly if you think they won’t like it.

• Keep conversations about “us” outside of work
• It’s too easy to merge things together and forget the focus which is that the two of you will always keep things safe and secure.

• Practice fairness, justice and sensitivity in all areas of work, play and private life.

If it does not work out:

• Never talk badly to colleagues about the other person
• Make a pact with each other about what you will and won’t share about the break up
• Don’t ask or expect people to take sides
• Let the person that is particularly hurt have the space to ignore you or be alone
• Allow and new space to develop slowly around what the relationship looks like now

Melissa Ferrari is a Sydney registered psychotherapist and counsellor with more than 20 years of experience in couples counselling and individual therapy. She is one of Australia’s most sought-after therapists and is regularly called upon as a relationship expert in national media.
click here to visit her on the web

Previous ArticleNext Article